It's a boy!

Everything looks perfect! He sure is a shaker and a mover. He did not want his face photographed, imagine, our child being stubborn, weird... Pretty cute though, eh?

19 weeks? Already!?

Can you believe we get to find out if our little one is a boy or a girl next week? I am so excited! As we get closer to the day, the time goes slower. I think I'll sleep the weekend away to make it go faster :) My mother and my mother-in-law insisted on a belly picture, so here it is. Right now it's mostly condensed fat and organs with a little baby, but it's more baby all the time!

On a totally different note, we have had a TON of snow here lately! I never thought I would ever be a person who would buy our dog clothes, but it has been too cold not to. But look how cute he is in his sweater.

Alright friends, I will post again next week when we know what we are having!

16 Weeks

Wow, I really like the 2nd trimester better than the 1st. I have felt so much better. I still have heartburn, but the constant nausea is gone. I am having to eat every 2 or 3 hours to feel my best, but usually a yogurt, string cheese, or piece of fruit is enough for between meals. And I have only gained a pound and a half. Hooray!
I have had a few people ask me how things are going with my Thyroid. My levels are getting checked every four weeks by my Endocrinologist, plus my Obgyn tests my levels everytime he does blood work. My levels have had to be adjusted 3 times, but I think my current dose is working well for now.
I had my second appointment with my Obgyn on Friday and he said everything is looking great. Brian couldn't come so my sweet friend Kiera came. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat, between 120-140 beats per minute. I called my mom so she could hear it too and of course she cried. According to old wives' tales the heartbeat is not on the fast end, so it could mean a boy, but really who knows. We have an appointment for Dec. 8 for my next ultrasound, and to find out what we are having! I am so excited. Brian is convinced it's a boy, but I'm only sure that it's a baby.

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!

On Wednesday August 25 I took my millionth pregnancy test (ok, maybe only thirtieth). But this one was different, it was POSITIVE! I sat in the bathroom and bawled for a couple minutes, while I triple read the instructions to make sure I was really seeing what I was seeing. Then I said a little prayer of thanks. Not just to God for giving us what we had so fervently wished for, but also to my Daddy for finally letting one of his grand-babies go. I then went into our bedroom and said to my sleeping husband, "Brian Askew, what would you say if I told you I was pregnant?" He proceeded to jump out of bed and hug me tight, and I, of course, started to bawl again. It was 22 months since we had started trying, and nothing but frustration had come our way, but now we finally had a positive test!
My doctor had me come in for an ultrasound that Friday, where they confirmed a gestational sack. Then the following Monday and Wednesday they checked my HCG levels to make sure they were doubling appropriately. On Thursday September 2 it was confirmed that we were pregnant, and that things were off to a great start.We decided that would keep it a secret, just to be safe. But really, I don't know how anyone has missed our giddiness!
I had my first prenatal appointment on Tuesday October 5, and it was amazing! We got to see our sweet little alien (really, the head was as big as the rest of the body then). We also got to see the heartbeat and little legs kicking. Holy cow! That is so amazing. I could have 20 children and still think that is cool! (no, we will not have that many kids) The doctor gave me a due date of April 19, but then told me I was 11 weeks, which really means April 26. Either way, we will have a new sweet little Askew in April! We decided to tell our parents and siblings about the pregnancy since everything was looking good. They all were excited,  I think everyone yelled, and my mother bawled. I think it was harder for them to keep the secret for two weeks than it was for us to keep it for two months! But now it is time to tell the world!
I have been very lucky, and I have not been too sick. I had to eat every hour and a half, but I have been able to carry on with my normal life. The worst part has been that I am tired all the time. I pick Brian up from work at 8:00, and take myself to bed by 8:30 or 9:00. I miss spending my evenings with him, but I wouldn't trade this pregnancy for anything!
I think that covers everything, but feel free to ask if you have any questions!

Goodbye Sweet Summer

Well, tomorrow is my first day of this school year. I have 28 students in my class, and many of them promise to be challenging. I'm excited to get started! I finished off my summer with some fun. I slept in, I read lots of books, played with my pets, and hung out with friends and family. We also did some special things.
Brian and I got to see the Broadway show Lion King. No, we didn't get to go to New York. The show came to Salt Lake. Brian took me out to brunch and to the show. It was really amazing. you should definitely go if you get the chance.
But most important, was a surprise 50th birthday party for my Mama. We invited friends from many different times and places in her life. It was fun to see great people, and my mom really enjoyed herself!

Coming in the door, holding up her hands like what the....

Blowing out her candles

Miah and me with the birthday girl

Michelle and Brian were sweet enough to help with it all.

Oh Summer...

I  finished summer school last week, so I am now officially on my two week summer break, YEAH! This summer has been great, even with school. I have gotten to spend a lot of time with friends (even ones who hit my car), and family (although brought together by a funeral). We also took my Mama to a Paul McCartney concert, and it was freaking AMAZING!! Seriously, you would think his voice would have given out 50 years later, but no, he sang for 3 hours! I can't even tell you how many different instruments he played. Definitely tied with The Cranberries for BEST CONCERT EVER!

We also adopted a puppy this month. Or, more correctly, I saw a puppy and fell in love and called and asked my sweet husband if I could bring him home. He let me, but made sure I understood that if it didn't work out, he was going back. But, he's working out wonderfully! He's a puppy, so he barks and chews when he shouldn't, but he will learn. Brian named him Frodo.

That's it for our summer so far, but stay tuned for more fun!

21 Months

     21 months of hopes and prayers. 21 months of counting days and taking temperatures. 21 months of doctors and medications. 21 months of "Are you guys ever going to have kids?" 21 months of prenatal vitamins. 21 months of my husband absentmindedly caressing my belly in a way that shows our longing for it to be full of something beautiful. 21 months of disappointment and frustration. 

      I know that I am blessed to have a husband that loves me, great family and friends, a good job, a home, and many other blessings that others do not have. But I still feel like part of me is missing. And some days the emptiness and longing are more painful than others.

Doctors and Diets

In the last 6 months I have seen my primary care physician, my obgyn, and my endocrinologist. All of them are trying to help with our 20 months or infertility. There are all in consensus that I need to lose weight, but these are the suggestions I have gotten from them:

Do water aerobics a few days a week.

Try the HCG diet.

You need a lot of protein, like Atkins.

You should walk at least 5 days a week.

Weight Watchers will teach you healthy life habits. 

A personal trainer could really help.

A lot of people have success with the lap band.

Besides all the bi-polar recommendations, two of them have said my weight loss so far has been "not important" and "a little, I guess". Really?! Last time I checked, that is what you want, but unless I choose your screwed up method, it doesn't count! I have lost 33 pounds, I feel good, and I was happy with who I was before this all started! I don't need them or their approval! 

But really, I do need them. I'm not ovulating, and without ovulation, I can't have a baby. And without medical "help" I don't know if my body will do it on it's own. I just wish they could make up their minds. And I wish they would try to be a little bit nice about it. I know I'm fat, but I'm also really sad that I can't get pregnant. Please try to be a little sensitive!

End of year testing

I feel like I can let out a big sigh of relief now that my students have finished end of year testing. Hooray!! I am confident that many of them did well, but I was slightly worried about a few of them. I thought I would share this story with you, and hope that it explains my class to you a little. 

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent*

First, some background information: The students at my school do their end of year testing on the computers. They get split into three computer labs based on their ability level in English, and if they are qualified for resource. The students that are qualified for resource or are low language level get some of the test read to them, so they are in different labs than the rest of my students, who get none read. Each of my low English level students have a school employee that sits next to them, plus there are 2 other teachers in the room monitoring. I have nine students that have such a low level of understanding in English that they go to the "accommodated lab". There are 11 total adults in that room, with *Mrs. Smith as the monitor. I send two kids to the resource teacher, then go with my other 13 students to the regular lab, where there are only 3 total adults.
Finally, the story: My class was called down for testing, so I took them to the bathroom, and sent them to their correct labs. *Mrs. Smith was waiting at the accommodated lab door for my students and started calling their names so she could give them their log in information. She called *Bobby, but the rest of the students said he was in the bathroom. Being third graders, they all turned around to look towards the bathroom, but they did not see *Bobby coming.*Mrs. Smith called the rest of the students' names, and was getting worried that she had not seen anyone come down the hall. She realized that there was a little boy still standing there and she asked him what his name was. He quickly told her his name was *Bobby. "Well, why didn't you answer when I called your name before?" she asked him. "They said I was in the bathroom," was his reply.

Yes, that is one of my students. Sometimes you are just too proud for words. :)

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure

This coming Saturday, May 8, I will be participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure with my friend Michelle. She lost her mom three years ago, after a long and brave fight with breast cancer.

 

That was the same year I lost my dad, and I couldn't help but think that he was lucky that he did not have to suffer like she did. I  wish that we did not have to watch the people we love suffer, and I am hoping that supporting breast cancer research is one way that we can provide a better future for everyone. Michelle has named our team Tenacious Ta-Tas. I am asking you, friends, to join our team or donate in support of breast cancer research! Just click on the link below to be taken to our page. Thank you in advance!

Tenacious Ta-tas

Crazy Life

It has been over a month since I posted, and I couldn't bear to see April go by without a single post. So you are going to get the short and sweet version of our lives. This month has been busy at work as Brian has been helping people with tax questions and issues, and I have been preparing my students for end of year testing (yuck!). They both sound terrible, don't they? Hopefully, we can leave a lot of it behind at the end of the month!

First thing we did this month was celebrate my amazing brother turning 30. We had a lot of fun, and I think he is finding it less scary than he thought it would be. I love you Broder!!! I took my cute friend Natalie on a "date" to see Legally Blonde at Capitol Theatre and had a lot of fun. In the middle of the month we got to go to an Alumni weekend at my high school. It was SOO much fun to see people I hadn't seen in ten years! I was really glad that Brian hit it off with quite a few people and stayed entertained so I could catch up with old friends. Brian also celebrated his 29th birthday! We were too busy to celebrate properly,  but hopefully we will have the chance soon. It was also Brian's Mom's and sister's birthdays this month too, so Happy Birthday Lynn and Elise, we love you!!

As far as weight loss goes, I have lost 22 pounds! I am feeling great and I am really excited that I am moving closer to my goal of being "a healthy weight to get pregnant" Along that note, we are currently in the midst of National Infertility Week, April 24-May1. I don't know why it only gets a week, when it effects so many people, but you have to be grateful for what you have. I want to share something with you that made me feel like everything I have thought and felt through our struggle to get pregnant is normal. I know we have been trying for less than 2 years, which is nothing compared to many people out there. But it's hard, and it's real, and it's a battle we fight everyday. I hope you will take a few minutes and watch the video she made.
What if? From Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed

Alright May, I'm ready for ya!

Two gallons

Did you know that two gallons of liquid weighs about 15 pounds? Well, now that you do, I think you should know that I have lost two gallons!! Or 15 pounds, whatever you prefer. That 15 pounds also equals about 10 inches off my body! Thanks for letting me brag! That's all for now.

Don't forget to wear your purple on Friday March 26th!

Wear purple for Epilepsy Awareness!

My sweet husband Brian has lived with epilepsy since he was 8 years old. He has been very lucky in the sense that the worst injuries he has ever come out of a seizure with are a dislocated shoulder and broken teeth. I hope that he will be able to continue coming through his seizures safely, but most of all I wish he did not have to go through them at all. I am asking you to where purple on Friday March 26, "Purple Day" for epilepsy awareness.

-Epilepsy is a medical condition that produces seizures affecting a variety of mental and physical functions. A seizure happens when a brief, strong surge of electrical activity affects part or all of the brain. One in 10 adults will have a seizure sometime during their life.
-Seizures can last from a few seconds to a few minutes. They can have many symptoms, from convulsions and loss of consciousness to some that are not always recognized as seizures by the person experiencing them or by health care professionals: blank staring, lip smacking, or jerking movements of arms and legs.
-Almost 3 million people in the U.S. have some form of epilepsy. About 200,000 new cases of seizure disorders and epilepsy are diagnosed each year.
(information from Epilepsy Foundation)

For more information please visit one of the websites below:
http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/
http://www.epilepsyadvocate.com/
http://www.purpleday.org/index.php

Confessions of a stubborn woman

Brian and I will be celebrating our 2nd anniversary in June. But March is the 8th anniversary of when we started dating. We didn't get married until we had both finished college, and we were "all grown up" and ready for the future (whatever that means). Before we got married we decided that we would wait a year before trying to have kids. But then we got married, and everyone around us started getting pregnant or having kids, and we realized we didn't want to wait. So we started trying in October 2008, and we kept trying all the way through 2009, and by the time we reached 2010 we were discouraged. We went to see my doctor who had  told us to try for a solid year, then we could come back and start doing some testing to see what was going on. So we went in, ready to do some tests, only to be told that she thinks I am too fat to have a baby. Yes, that really is what she said. So, she told me to come back when I had lost enough weight to be "healthy"(whatever that means). My reaction was to start bawling, and not stop for at least an hour. Couldn't she have mentioned that a year ago?!?! Needless to say, I need a new doctor. But I also need to lose weight. Yes, I knew that before, but having the motivation of not being able to have a baby until I do something about it, changed the picture completely. I have always been confident in who I am, just the way I am. I am happy with myself, and Brian is happy with me, so who else really needs to be impressed? But I don't know how I would feel about myself in the future if I hadn't done something about this. If I had kept myself from having a beautiful little Askew baby, which is what I want more than anything in the world.

So, dammit, I am going to lose weight! I have a lot of friends that have had success with the HCG diet, but the thought of giving myself a shot everyday freaks me out! So I started Weight Watchers at the end of January. I also went to my local rec center and signed up for water aerobics. It has been a small lifestyle change, but one I have felt good about. Now, (drum-roll please) I felt that I needed to share that I have lost 12 pounds!! I don't feel any different yet, but I have had people ask if I have lost some weight, and that is gratifying. So what do I see happening in my future? I have no idea, but I really hope it will someday include a baby.  

Things I Love

In honor of Valentine's Day (even if it is a day late), a list of the things I love most in the world, in no particular order.

-My husband Brian Askew, and the way he smells.

-Kissing
-Mangoes
-Movies

-Cuddling

-Books, and of course reading them

-Sleep
-Family
-Cheese
-The Beatles
-Chocolate
-Sun rises and sun sets
-Mountains

-Daisies
-Children, especially babies
-Cucumbers
-The color blue
-Rain, especially the smell of it
-Friends
-Teaching
-Soaking in a bathtub
-Coffee
-Anything pumpkin; bread, soup, cookies, coffee, candles,  Yum!

-Broccoli
-Mexican food

-The fall
-Creme brulee
-Laughing
-The Cranberries
-Driving
-Facebook, I am so addicted

-Swimming
-Massages
-Bookstores and libraries
-My wedding ring
-Tea
-France, particularly Paris
-Alpha Phi
-Crab
-Disney movies, best of all Mary Poppins and Sleeping Beauty
-Musical theater
-Shopping
-Singing in the shower
-Traveling
-My home
-Playing games
-Cashews
-Marzipan
-Elephants

A long and possibly incomplete list. If you don't know me now, I'm afraid you never will.

I have a dream...

 I teach In West Valley, which is basically what most people consider the "ghetto" of Salt Lake. No it is not like the ghetto you see in really big cities, but for Salt lake, it is the roughest area. My school is about 70% Hispanic, with the other 30% containing over 30 different languages (we have a lot of refugees). Many of my students come from broken homes, whether a parent is in a different country, in prison, dead, or just MIA. There are often gang shootings in their neighborhoods, and these kids have seen and heard way more than they should. Their families are poor and often work such long hours that no one is home to feed the kids dinner, help them with their homework, or put them to bed.

Monday was Martin Luther King Jr.day so I was obviously teaching my class about him, but I have talked a lot about him all year as we have discussed issues of fighting for things without hurting others, segregation, and just treating others with respect. After we listened to his famous I Have a Dream speech, I gave my students a writing assignment to write about a dream they had for themselves, their families, and the world. These are some of their dreams: (I have posted the writing exactly how I received it. If the spelling was  mysterious, I have put it in parentheses)

By S-girl

I have a dream that I can be a dokter and help people how(who) are hert and sich(sick).
I have a dream that my famiely can have a nice home and have cleen water and food.
I have a dream that people won't hert and kill over(other) people and they will get along beter.

By A-boy
I have a dream that will come true. I want to be a sighentest(scientist).
I have a dream for my family that they have better jobs and have a little bite(bit) of money.
I have a dream for the world. I that white peopole respect black peopole.

By K-boy
I had a dear that i was a famis basckball play(famous basketball player) and i will help my famle. {for himself}

All of use will be to gether a gen(together again) and we will be happy. {for his family}
I wish i will make this world beter. {for the world}

By J-boy

I have a dream that one day I will be abel to take care of my family.

I have a dream that one day my hole family will be together for the first time.

I have that one day the world will understand that vilanse(violence) isn't good that we shoud treat the people how we want them to treat us.

By O-boy

I want to be a PresiDent Like Barack Obama. he is the best. And a teacher too. Teachers are cool.

I want to take care of my family and everybody in my family. and every body in the world.

I want the world to be free this time. And I want everybody to be happy.

By H-girl

I have a dream I whant to Be a teacher and I whant I whant The kid to lerern(learn)

and my family whant to be nice PePle and to Make PePle happy happy

I whant to make the world happy and brave and I whant Them to eat to.

I hope these have warmed your heart as much as mine! Oh, and no, I am not sexist, my class is 2/3 boys. :)

2009 in retrospect

2009 started quietly  in Arkansas with Brian's parents (his sisters had gone out without us), then quickly worked itself into a fury.

Early in January my Grandma and Grandpa Munson (Gram and Grump) got in a car accident in which they both fractured vertebrae in their necks, and Grump also fractured one in his back. Although their injuries could have left them paralyzed or even dead, God knew there was no way our family could live without them, so thankfully they were spared and healed pretty well. February was mostly quiet, thank goodness, so we could have time to visit Gram and Grump at their care center.

Then March came and with it brought an aggressive brain tumor to my sweet Grandma Eileen. She was gone within three weeks. She was a wonderful woman and has been truly missed. I was lucky enough to get to spend some time with my Tonkinson side of the family while we celebrated her life.

When I returned from home from Florida I came home to a flooding bedroom. We had foundation damage which caused us to move most of our bedroom furniture into our living room and we moved into the spare room. In April Wicked the musical to Salt Lake (amazing!), Brian had a seizure and his much loved dog, Schubert, was put to sleep. Both were not great, but the fact that they happened on the same day, which was his birthday, made it even worse. May brought  my 25th birthday, the birth of a dear friend's baby and end of year testing for my students. (Any teacher who says that time of year is not stressful is a stinkin' liar!) My school was also closed for a very short period of time due to the Swine Flu. June came in pretty peacefully and Brian and I spent our one year anniversary seeing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang the musical ( I loved it, poor Brian was miserable), and staying at the bed and breakfast that had double booked us for our honeymoon. The room was free since they had ruined our honeymoon, so we took full advantage of every amenity they offered! It was wonderful! July was beautiful and Brian and I watched the final fireworks display at Sugarhouse Park from our front yard. We also had wood laminate flooring installed, which we love!  I spent the summer teaching summer school so we could pay for the wood laminate flooring, definitely worth it.  We were able to move back into our bedroom in early August, but it was not all fully repaired until October. August was a fun month filled with a community BBQ, a BBQ with my roommates from my first year of college, a Depeche Mode concert, and a Cirque De Soleil show. Yes, we spoiled ourselves! August also meant back to school and on to a new grade for me. I had spent my first three years teaching in 2nd grade, but I really wanted to teach 3rd grade. Lucky me, I got what I wanted! but whew, I got a tough group of kids.

In September we got to go to Florida to visit my Grandpa Tonkinson and My Great Aunt Bev and Uncle Jim. It was great getting to spend time with family! We spent a day in St. Augustine and climbed the lighthouse, visited the fort, and visited the Alligator Farm there. It was a wonderful vacation.

October brought a friend's wedding, in which Brian was a groomsman, and trip for me to the Endocrinologist. I found out that I have Hashimotos Thyroiditis which basically means my body is attacking my thyroid. I will have to be on thyroid hormones for the rest of my life, and if my thyroid is killed by my body, it will have to be removed. Kind of a pain in the butt, but it is something that I can live with, and for that I am grateful. In November we went to Ely Nevada to spend Thanksgiving with the Munson side of my family. It was so much fun to cook together, play games, and just visit and have fun. In December we got to go to Denver and one of my life dreams came true, we got to go see the Cranberries in concert!!! We stayed with some of our friends there and had a great time! But of course, we forgot the camera. I took some video of the concert with my cell phone, but it just didn't do it justice. Here is a link to the song Dreams, recorded by my cell phone.Cranberries concert  December also brought another seizure to Brian, but this time he stopped breathing, which sent him into another seizure. I have never been so scared in my entire life. But he is doing fine, and we pray that he will be better about taking his meds and getting enough sleep, which should help keep the seizures away. We spent Christmas in Ely Nevada with my family and had a great time again. I can't help but think that we are some of the luckiest people in the world to have the families that we have.
So here we are at 2010. 2009 had some crappy moments, and some really crappy moments, but it also had some great moments. We hope this year will bring us the chance to spend time with our families and friends, and also some more fun times with each other. God bless and Happy New Year!!!!