Confessions of a stubborn woman

Brian and I will be celebrating our 2nd anniversary in June. But March is the 8th anniversary of when we started dating. We didn't get married until we had both finished college, and we were "all grown up" and ready for the future (whatever that means). Before we got married we decided that we would wait a year before trying to have kids. But then we got married, and everyone around us started getting pregnant or having kids, and we realized we didn't want to wait. So we started trying in October 2008, and we kept trying all the way through 2009, and by the time we reached 2010 we were discouraged. We went to see my doctor who had  told us to try for a solid year, then we could come back and start doing some testing to see what was going on. So we went in, ready to do some tests, only to be told that she thinks I am too fat to have a baby. Yes, that really is what she said. So, she told me to come back when I had lost enough weight to be "healthy"(whatever that means). My reaction was to start bawling, and not stop for at least an hour. Couldn't she have mentioned that a year ago?!?! Needless to say, I need a new doctor. But I also need to lose weight. Yes, I knew that before, but having the motivation of not being able to have a baby until I do something about it, changed the picture completely. I have always been confident in who I am, just the way I am. I am happy with myself, and Brian is happy with me, so who else really needs to be impressed? But I don't know how I would feel about myself in the future if I hadn't done something about this. If I had kept myself from having a beautiful little Askew baby, which is what I want more than anything in the world.

So, dammit, I am going to lose weight! I have a lot of friends that have had success with the HCG diet, but the thought of giving myself a shot everyday freaks me out! So I started Weight Watchers at the end of January. I also went to my local rec center and signed up for water aerobics. It has been a small lifestyle change, but one I have felt good about. Now, (drum-roll please) I felt that I needed to share that I have lost 12 pounds!! I don't feel any different yet, but I have had people ask if I have lost some weight, and that is gratifying. So what do I see happening in my future? I have no idea, but I really hope it will someday include a baby.